Offensive Drivers

I have an amazing ability. I can become invisible. How, you ask? I ride my bike. Does it really make me invisible? I sure feel like it sometimes. One would think that all those reflecting, blinking, flashing lights would help people to see me, but no. I remain invisible. Bike lane? Nobody uses those. They are extra wide shoulders to park in. Hideous, fluorescent, tennis ball green? Nope, still invisible. I don't even think it matters what time of day it is. I haven't seen any difference yet. I want to ride my bike. It makes me feel better all around, but when I almost get taken out by stupid people opening doors or turning into driveways...I get a little frustrated. I swear I took my invisibility cloak off, I know I did. Look at me everybody, look at me!!! I want to shout as I ride, but can't as I try to catch my breath. I just can't seem to shake the cloak...